My Busted Bum...

Okay, not much to this story, but I couldn't resist the headline. Come on, "My Busted Bum" that's friggin GOLD, baby!!!

So what story there is...

Cave begged, implored, blubbered, and whined until I consented to play racketball tonight. Now, most of you know that if I had an animal spirit guide, it'd be the tree sloth. What can I say, I'm sedate. But hell, even a sloth likes a good sweat now and then.

Let me also add that I haven't played racketball since my freshman year at OSU. 10 or 11 years folks. But none the less, off we trudged to the Rec. Smoking all the way, naturally.

Well, since I still barely remembered the rules, and yes, was coughing my way through the first game, he smoked me. 15-2, if I remember. And I think the 2 was only sympathy, or maybe so as not to ace me.

Regardless, and jumping ahead, I did do fairly well picking the game back up. I managed to rally and take a 9-8 lead in the 3rd before faltering and losing 15-9.

Oh, and to be fair, this was the second time today that Cave played. And during the first set he DID take a racket to the head leaving a goose egg the size of my busted bum, oddly. So its fair to say that at full speed he'd have smoked me straight through.

But now that's not the point then, is it? You wanna know about the broken bum. The poor, aching, sagging lump of flesh I now sit happily on.

Well, somewhere in the 2nd, Cave launched a monster into the corner...shot, not fart. Naturally, I was standing about 5 feet too far forward, but heck, I'm nothing if not stubborn and I CAN hit anything...accuracy not withstanding.

Now remember the "sloth" statement a few paragraphs back. Well, sloths don't actually jump, we stretch. And so I stretched. This was no normal stretch. This was more like Jane Fonda running for President of the NRA. Olympic quality strech. Problem was, I reacted late and so stretched not just up, but back. WAY back. WAY WAY back. (Note: if you find two missing vertebrae on Court 1 of the A&M Rec, gimmie a call, I MIGHT be the long lost owner.) So at some point, the forces of gravity decided to ignore me, then suddenly smother me with affection, in a very S&M sorta way.

I'm not sure, but before I came down, I think I actually achieved a 15% angle from the ground, though I'm not quite sure how high I was at that point. Let's say 90 ft, just to be conservative. Well, needless to say, in the final seconds of my freefall, both me feet and my head had a higher elevation than my ass. And landing on your ass does indeed rattle your teeth.

So, there you have it, the story of my, okay, not broken, but definitely aching, busted bum.

Goodness, that was fun.

Wizard Proud!!!

In the last week, I've had at least 5 different conversations where different friends hung their head in shame and quietly admitted to loving Harry Potter. Several of those were held in whispered asides, as if there was some great shame in enjoying literature of any sort in this day and time ruled as it is by brain-sucking cathode tubes...and I'm a video producer, I know of what I speak here.

Well, dammit, not me. I LOVE HARRY POTTER, and I'm not afraid to say it. The books are vivid, exciting, escapism at its finest. J.K. Rowling is truly a gifted story-teller with an ability to evolve characters like few others. She is to be adored for her remarkable talent and praised for the beautiful dreams she's writen down so that we may all make her rich.

I wish I had attended Hogwarts. I want to play Quiddich. I can't wait for Ron and Hermione to hook up. And dang it, I wanna give Hagrid a hug! Yes, I admit it, I LOVE the world J.K. has created and can't wait for the final book to come out.

I'm a grown man of nearly 30 years and I am not ashamed.

University Tire Center...

Okay, not much a curmudgeon thing, BUT, I have to rave for a second on my mechanics. I took my car into them on Tuesday with a wild problem. Dumb engineers. Anyhow, it took them most of the day to varify that the problem was real, and then had to wait overnight to get the part. Once replaced I picked up the car and we shortly discovered that the problem was deeper than we thought, so I took it back today and low and behold, they knocked one out of the park. Got it right, did it with a smile, didn't charge for the extra work, and were all around nice guys. Not something you often see with mechanics these days. But heck, I'm thrilled. So if you are in BCS and need some work done, I highly reccomend the guys at Univeristy Tire Center on South College.

Okay, let the grumpiness return.

Fairtax Part II: Prebates (or Why the Poor love the Fairtax)

If your ears now perk up and you begin hearing talk about Fairtax in the press, one of the most common complaints you'll hear is that "this plan will be hardest on our poor." EHHHHH, not true. In fact, the Fairtax plan assures that poor Americans do not pay Federal taxes.

This is done through the "prebate". But first, let's recognize two important points. First, consumer costs will remain virtually the same as embedded taxes are removed from retail costs. On average, goods and services have an embedded cost of 22% (the actually cost per sector varies by 4 or 5%, but I don't have the numbers in my head at the moment). So a 23% tax will on some goods will cost slightly more than current prices, for others slightly less, and for most the difference will be negligable because of the second point...

We'll all be bringing home more. Currently, even if the Federal government "refunds" every dime you've paid in taxes, you've still lost money in opportunity costs. You could have invested those funds and earned intrest, or even more likely for many of us, paid off debts (mortgage, credit cards, etc.) and reduced the cost you've incurred from those debts. Under the Fairtax, payroll taxes including Federal Income Taxes, Social Security Taxes, and Medicare Taxes will no long be withheld. In fact, they will be collected through the retail sales tax. So we will all be bringing home more money.

Now the "prebate".

At the begining of each month, every American household will receive a check from the government to reemburse that household to the level of taxation at the poverty line. Let me explain it another way...

Every household has to spend a certain amount of money to subsist, well, at least we can calulate that amount on average. This minimum amount is called the "poverty line". The amount it takes for basic, no frills life. LIke a car with no cd player or air conditioner.

The Fairtax calculates the amount of taxes each household would pay to this limit, then "advances" those funds to each house. In other words, you'd get a check each month to cover the cost of taxes you'd pay to live at the poverty line.

In 2005, a married couple with no children would hit the poverty line at $19,140. The amount of tax you'd pay to that line is $4,402. Divide that by 12, and you'd receive a check each month for $367.

For a single individual such as myself, $9,570 is the poverty line this year. So the first $2,201 in taxes I'd pay would be refunded. That's a monthly check for $183.

And that is BEFORE you pay the tax. In otherwords, this check offsets any taxes you might pay. And if you spend less by growing your own food or making your owe clothes or being energy effiencient as possible, then you can bank the money, invest it, or otherwise spend it how you like.

Keep in mind you paycheck no longer includes withholding. So you are bringing home MORE money. AND prices will remain virtually unchanged.

Another point to be made, that poor and middle class often buy used items. These are never taxed. Used clothes, used cars, used homes. No taxes.

So you can see that the poorest of us will not pay taxes. In fact, studies of spending habits show that this is be a vastly more progressive tax than we currently have in place with the rich paying a far greater share of the national tax burden.

Let's talk taxes...

Sounds horribly boring, I know. But stay with me for a second, and try
to imagine...

-The term 'take-home pay" loses all meaning since FICA, Social
Security, and Medicare are no longer withheld from your paycheck.

-We stop ranting about our companies moving overseas, and instead
swell with pride as foreign corporation after forgein corporation
moves here.

-The drug dealer down the street is paying every bit as much in taxes
as you are, probably more.

And that's just the start. I'm talking about the Fairtax, of course,
better known as HR 25. That's right, an actual bill before congress,
and the same plan you see flying off bookstore shelves as written by
Neil Boortz and Congressman Lender. The national sales tax.

Now that last phrase is worrisome. A new tax, just what we need,
right? Well, YES. The key being that this single tax replaces Federal
Income Taxes, Social Security Taxes, Medicare Taxes, Corporate and
Business Taxes, Estate Taxes, Capital Gains Taxes and so on and so on
and so on. REPLACES! All current Federal taxes would be stripped away and replaced with a single, simple 23% inclusive tax on new, retail goods.

Does that sound like alot? Its not. You are already paying on average,
22% in retail good on everything you buy. These are embedded costs
from corporate and business taxes currently paid at EVERY level of
manufacturing. Remove those and allow competition to drive down prices
and sudedenly, you are paying roughly the same total amount with the
Fairtax as you pay now without it.

This is not a Republican vs. Democrat plan. The Fairtax is revenue
neutral. We can talk about cutting taxes and spending later. For now,
its about getting a better plan. A better way to pay taxes. And the Fairtax is that.

Our current system is corrupt. Send your tax information to 50
accountants this coming year and you'll get 50 different returns. And
chances are, none of them would be right. Right enough to get by?
Probably. But that's how ridiculous our current system is.

Further, it lends itself to political exploitation. Its based on the
concept of buying votes for tax credits, cuts, or manipulation.And thinkf or a second what our current tax system does. It punishes those that achieve. Those that work to better themselves. At the same time, it rewards those who embrace failure and poverty. Meanwhile the Fairtax neither rewards or punishes behavior. Its simple across the board, buy something new, pay the tax.

Okay, I need to get back to work now, but more to come. In the
meantime, I urge you to visit fairtax.org and see how the experts lay
it out.

Testing things out...

Just a test. Only a test. If this were a genuine blog is would contain
much self-important ranting and raving.

Quitting sucks...

Just to be clear, sure and absolute: I LOVE NICOTINE.
I want more in my life, not less. Damn this sucks.

Dang them Gilmores...

Okay, so you are born. You learn to walk, to read, that girls have cooties, how to hit a slider, that girls don't have cooties, algebra, driving, mom's weep at graduation, keggers are fun, jobs aren't... and then it seems to level out. You are adult, but you don't feel so much different. Very gradually, you've become an adult.

But then one day, out of nowhere, someone walks in and slaps you in the face with a giant rolled-up newspaper featuring a headline in giant black print that reads "You are OLD!!!"

It's not gradual and it hurts.

Tonight, watching Gilmore Girls with my girlfriend, I discovered this about myself. I am old. I am a fogey. A crusty old man. And I am NOT comfortable with Rory as a sexual being.

Just ain't right, dagnab it! Pass me a cane.