Turns out I'd be 16 again, if only I lived on Mars. But I'd be a centurian on Mercury.
Thanks to Bob Webster and his Junkmail for this link:
Your Age on Other Worlds
I haven't checked their math, but I don't want to.
So take it as a leap of fate, enter your digits and find out just how young you are in other parts of this solar system.
My gift to you all.
Merry Christmas.
Austin
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Tequila Christmas Cake Recipe
My new, favorite holiday recipe, and easy even for an amateur baker. Enjoy. Merry Christmas all!
Austin
Austin
Tequila Christmas Cake
Ingredients:
> 1 cup of water
> 1 tsp baking soda
> 1 cup of sugar
> 1 tsp salt
> 1 cup of brown sugar
> Lemon juice
> 4 large eggs
> Nuts
> 1 bottle tequila
> 2 cups of dried fruit
>
> Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup... just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
>
> Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
>
> Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.
>
> CHERRY MISTMAS!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Liberal Confusion
I know the Patriot Act is not exactly big in the news these days. But for some reason it was on my mind yesterday afternoon. And once again, it has left me confused by our Liberal brethren.
Basic liberal ideology insists that more government is better. That individual Americans are best served by having more and more of their lives managed by public servants such as myself. Medical Care. Personal Savings. Entitlement programs of every shape, size and color. The ideology is grounded in the belief that government should be an active force within the lives of individuals.
But when it comes to national security and the War on Terror, specifically to the Patriot Act, the liberal arguments insist that the powers granted in that document can and will be abused...by public servants. Cops. DA's. Fed's and so on. Liberals and Democrats suggest that the government should not have that power.
Yet they want the government (these same public servants) in charge of my retirement, my medical records, my charitable giving...
I know a number of you friends are such liberals. So please understand, I'm not looking to start a fight here. I just don't understand the conflict. I don't get how you resolve that within yourself. Is it that you trust all public servants, but hate cops? Is it that you simply have such hatred for Republicans that you'll immediately oppose anything Republicans stand for? What is it? What drives you to such conflicting beliefs? I'd love to hear from you on this.
Basic liberal ideology insists that more government is better. That individual Americans are best served by having more and more of their lives managed by public servants such as myself. Medical Care. Personal Savings. Entitlement programs of every shape, size and color. The ideology is grounded in the belief that government should be an active force within the lives of individuals.
But when it comes to national security and the War on Terror, specifically to the Patriot Act, the liberal arguments insist that the powers granted in that document can and will be abused...by public servants. Cops. DA's. Fed's and so on. Liberals and Democrats suggest that the government should not have that power.
Yet they want the government (these same public servants) in charge of my retirement, my medical records, my charitable giving...
I know a number of you friends are such liberals. So please understand, I'm not looking to start a fight here. I just don't understand the conflict. I don't get how you resolve that within yourself. Is it that you trust all public servants, but hate cops? Is it that you simply have such hatred for Republicans that you'll immediately oppose anything Republicans stand for? What is it? What drives you to such conflicting beliefs? I'd love to hear from you on this.
Signs it will be a LONG day. #1
You get up for a nice, hard night's sleep. Let the dog out. Dog won't go. Start the coffee. Eat your Cheerios. Take the dog out again. Dog still won't go. Ask your wife to take the dog out while you shower. Dog goes for wife. Get dressed. Fill the thermos. Kiss the wife. Drive to work. Get to the office. Office is cold. Chair is cold. Fire up computer. Throw on coat you keep at the office. As you launch your e-mail, lean back and open thermos to pour a nice, hot cup of... hot water?
You forgot to put coffee in the coffee maker.
It's going to be a LONG day.
You forgot to put coffee in the coffee maker.
It's going to be a LONG day.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Sunrise, Gameday, Traffic, Moving, and Dogster...
I'm in the mood to ramble. Consider yourself warn-ed.
So I was going to post yesterday morning. It was a great morning. I woke up in a good mood, feeling great. The doctor has me doing a new series of exercises for my back (apparently my overly tight hamstrings have something to do with my back pain) and it really seems to be helping. Add to that a cool morning, good coffee, my lovely wife, and a gorgeous morning sky as I drove to work and I was brimming with joy I couldn't wait to share here in the Bell Tower.
Of course, I couldn't remember my password and didn't seem to be receiving the emails that would allow me to reset that password and you got nothing. BUT I'm back, BABY!!! Now that I've discovered what email address I actually created this account with...
Oops.
Moving right along...
Not all of yesterday was pleasant. Many of you will remember how this past January/February involved moving my office off campus. All in all, this was a great thing. Our old building on campus is old, poorly designed, and really just needs a wrecking ball renovation. The new office is great. Clean, free parking, easy access, sturdy... oh, and is not owned but rather leased by the university.
So, yep, you guessed it, we are moving again, this time to a building owned fully by the school. Still off campus, but we get to pay for parking again all the same. Woo-ha.
So Friday a group of us went to assess our new digs and begin planning for the move. But the building was certainly not designed for a bunch of media folks like us. In a former life it housed a bank, since then its been slightly renovated to best accommodate folks who answer email and push paper... and nothing else (read: cubicle hell). On whole, this isn't something we are unable to work with... except the University doesn't want us getting rid of any of there furniture, and in fact we are supposed to PAY to move anything of theirs we don't want out. Can you believe that? WE pay THEM to remove THEIR stuff or just accept all that doesn't work for us and surplus all of the furniture and equipment that does already work for us... Let's just say that negotiations have begun, and the opening offer was NOT impressive...
Did I mention they want us to pay for off-campus parking?
So today was game day. Aggies v. Tech. And the YR's along with the CR's tailgated for Van Taylor and our local candidates. I wasn't sure what to think. I'd never been anywhere near Kyle Field on game day. Add to that how my wife's ankle was sprained a few days ago in disastrous dog-walking incident...
But the day was great. We parked 362 miles from the field and hobbled our way there. Got things set up, waited for the food to arrive, then we all waited another hour for plastic forks and cups to arrive. But it was a great time. The CR's are a fun bunch and the food (C&J's) was worth waiting for. We were expecting the Gov to arrive about 1:30, but I can't say if he did.
Poor Mel, hobbled there with me, but her real pain was in the arriving. That's when I stuck her in a chair with some ice for her ankle and pretty much made her stay there. So, by 12:30, I'd fed her lunch, and force some cake (Tori's and it was yummy) down her throat. I figured it was time to get her home and take proper care of her. Besides, I've met the Gov before. Nice guy. Fairly standard political-type. He has my vote... though I would have liked to ask him about his conditioning regimen. We don't call him Governor Good Hair for nothing.
So all was good until we got the bright idea to go to Target. The game was still on, after all, so the roads would be ideal.... Dumbass. It was the start of the fourth quarter when we left. I was in the back of the store, surveying the newest good t-shirts ("Jack Bauer for President" is my favorite) when I overheard a store employee's walkie-talkie. It was the manager stating in a frightened voice, "Its over. We lost. They are coming." So I grabbed Mel as fast as I could, but I knew it was too late. Long story short, what should have been a 10-minute drive instead took well over 45 minutes. We did see our share of hilarity. Road rage. Brave Tortilla Tech fans dancing and flashing the Raider guns as they drove through miles and miles of angry Aggies, and one young woman who I swear to you had her cell phone surgically grafted to her face. That young woman elicited a few choice words from me of the sort that I don't use EVER.
Okay, safe and sound and that is all. Really, nothing exciting at all to share here. Just felt like rambling for a while. I appreciate you taking the time to listen, or at least skim. Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.
Oh, one last note. Something I can't really explain. You'll just have to go and look for yourself:
www.dogster.com
The Internet scares me.
So I was going to post yesterday morning. It was a great morning. I woke up in a good mood, feeling great. The doctor has me doing a new series of exercises for my back (apparently my overly tight hamstrings have something to do with my back pain) and it really seems to be helping. Add to that a cool morning, good coffee, my lovely wife, and a gorgeous morning sky as I drove to work and I was brimming with joy I couldn't wait to share here in the Bell Tower.
Of course, I couldn't remember my password and didn't seem to be receiving the emails that would allow me to reset that password and you got nothing. BUT I'm back, BABY!!! Now that I've discovered what email address I actually created this account with...
Oops.
Moving right along...
Not all of yesterday was pleasant. Many of you will remember how this past January/February involved moving my office off campus. All in all, this was a great thing. Our old building on campus is old, poorly designed, and really just needs a wrecking ball renovation. The new office is great. Clean, free parking, easy access, sturdy... oh, and is not owned but rather leased by the university.
So, yep, you guessed it, we are moving again, this time to a building owned fully by the school. Still off campus, but we get to pay for parking again all the same. Woo-ha.
So Friday a group of us went to assess our new digs and begin planning for the move. But the building was certainly not designed for a bunch of media folks like us. In a former life it housed a bank, since then its been slightly renovated to best accommodate folks who answer email and push paper... and nothing else (read: cubicle hell). On whole, this isn't something we are unable to work with... except the University doesn't want us getting rid of any of there furniture, and in fact we are supposed to PAY to move anything of theirs we don't want out. Can you believe that? WE pay THEM to remove THEIR stuff or just accept all that doesn't work for us and surplus all of the furniture and equipment that does already work for us... Let's just say that negotiations have begun, and the opening offer was NOT impressive...
Did I mention they want us to pay for off-campus parking?
So today was game day. Aggies v. Tech. And the YR's along with the CR's tailgated for Van Taylor and our local candidates. I wasn't sure what to think. I'd never been anywhere near Kyle Field on game day. Add to that how my wife's ankle was sprained a few days ago in disastrous dog-walking incident...
But the day was great. We parked 362 miles from the field and hobbled our way there. Got things set up, waited for the food to arrive, then we all waited another hour for plastic forks and cups to arrive. But it was a great time. The CR's are a fun bunch and the food (C&J's) was worth waiting for. We were expecting the Gov to arrive about 1:30, but I can't say if he did.
Poor Mel, hobbled there with me, but her real pain was in the arriving. That's when I stuck her in a chair with some ice for her ankle and pretty much made her stay there. So, by 12:30, I'd fed her lunch, and force some cake (Tori's and it was yummy) down her throat. I figured it was time to get her home and take proper care of her. Besides, I've met the Gov before. Nice guy. Fairly standard political-type. He has my vote... though I would have liked to ask him about his conditioning regimen. We don't call him Governor Good Hair for nothing.
So all was good until we got the bright idea to go to Target. The game was still on, after all, so the roads would be ideal.... Dumbass. It was the start of the fourth quarter when we left. I was in the back of the store, surveying the newest good t-shirts ("Jack Bauer for President" is my favorite) when I overheard a store employee's walkie-talkie. It was the manager stating in a frightened voice, "Its over. We lost. They are coming." So I grabbed Mel as fast as I could, but I knew it was too late. Long story short, what should have been a 10-minute drive instead took well over 45 minutes. We did see our share of hilarity. Road rage. Brave Tortilla Tech fans dancing and flashing the Raider guns as they drove through miles and miles of angry Aggies, and one young woman who I swear to you had her cell phone surgically grafted to her face. That young woman elicited a few choice words from me of the sort that I don't use EVER.
Okay, safe and sound and that is all. Really, nothing exciting at all to share here. Just felt like rambling for a while. I appreciate you taking the time to listen, or at least skim. Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.
Oh, one last note. Something I can't really explain. You'll just have to go and look for yourself:
www.dogster.com
The Internet scares me.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Long weeks row to hoe down at the club over the head....
Yes, that's how long this week has been. All of my metaphors are running together like a man rollerskating on one leg through a buffalo herd of cats... See what I mean.
Spent the week traveling through North Texas taking agency ID photos as this is 2006 and it seems everyone needs a agency ID...nevermind that most of us already have three... Still. It was nice work and I was able to see lots of old friends and make many new ones. Overton, Dallas, Vernon, and Stephenville. In 4 days. All the staffs were great and wonderfully helpful, but Janet in Vernon gets a gold star for being the best of the best. And that has nothing to do with the fact that she lives on a golf course and invited me to play there next time I'm out. :D
But I'm home now and looking forward to a weekend of nothing but football, napping, and maybe I'll even get lucky if a treat my wife nice. Cross your fingers for me kids.
Oh, and yes, when I'm this exhausted, my "TMI Filter" is worthless.
We are going to have some fun this weekend. For her birthday last year, I got Mel a Easy Bake Oven. She'd never been so fortunate as a child to have one. Well, neither has our other friend Mel ever had one. So this weekend the girls are going to have an Easy Bake party. Fun for them. Football without guilt for me. LOVE IT!!!
Be sure to check out the previous post. I remember once back in high school when Nicole Parker had to give me a ride home to the ranch. My father was Farm Manager on the Turley ranch. David Parker was General Manager at that time. Which made his three daughters (Erin, Nicole, and Shannon) like family to me. Now Erin, who is a year older, and I got along well enough but weren't exactly close. Shannon (a few years younger) and I have been pretty tight over the years. But Nicole... Nicole and I are the same age, graduated in the same class. And because of our situation on the ranch, often got far more of each other than either cared for. It got ugly at times.
Now about this day and this ride home. I think this was after my accident, so I was without a car still, and had no option but to load up in the tiny Parker girl's CRX. Nice tight quarters when you can't stand the person next to you. And this was a 30 minute drive, and that day I'd been a particular pain in Nicole's side. No telling what exactly I'd done, but I'm sure her feelings were justified.
Well, resentful as she was, she dared not leave me behind and face the wrath of her mother. So, we loaded up and headed out. But to make it particularly clear how much Nicole despised me, she put in the cassette single of "Everything About You" by Ugly Kid Joe, played it loudly and played it over and over. But now, I was in a good mood and did I mention how much I love this song? Well, I love it so much I HAVE to sing along, and I did. And she played it louder. And I sang along LOUDER... the whole way home this process repeated. She sped handily, so we made it home fast, but I'm guessing we still had time to hear the song 7 or 8 times. Each time louder than beffore, and all with me singing horribly at the top of my lungs. Still can't believe we aren't both deaf.
God bless Nicole. Since those days we've found a peace and certain respect between us. I really like the person she's grown into, and I hope she likes the man I've become as well. I do consider her a friend now. But lord, how I survived those years and that day in particular without her actually, literally turning me into a bloody, beaten, tragic headline in the Daily Oklahoman...
Well, thank you, Nicole. I'm glad you didn't kill me as I may well have deserved.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Austin
Spent the week traveling through North Texas taking agency ID photos as this is 2006 and it seems everyone needs a agency ID...nevermind that most of us already have three... Still. It was nice work and I was able to see lots of old friends and make many new ones. Overton, Dallas, Vernon, and Stephenville. In 4 days. All the staffs were great and wonderfully helpful, but Janet in Vernon gets a gold star for being the best of the best. And that has nothing to do with the fact that she lives on a golf course and invited me to play there next time I'm out. :D
But I'm home now and looking forward to a weekend of nothing but football, napping, and maybe I'll even get lucky if a treat my wife nice. Cross your fingers for me kids.
Oh, and yes, when I'm this exhausted, my "TMI Filter" is worthless.
We are going to have some fun this weekend. For her birthday last year, I got Mel a Easy Bake Oven. She'd never been so fortunate as a child to have one. Well, neither has our other friend Mel ever had one. So this weekend the girls are going to have an Easy Bake party. Fun for them. Football without guilt for me. LOVE IT!!!
Be sure to check out the previous post. I remember once back in high school when Nicole Parker had to give me a ride home to the ranch. My father was Farm Manager on the Turley ranch. David Parker was General Manager at that time. Which made his three daughters (Erin, Nicole, and Shannon) like family to me. Now Erin, who is a year older, and I got along well enough but weren't exactly close. Shannon (a few years younger) and I have been pretty tight over the years. But Nicole... Nicole and I are the same age, graduated in the same class. And because of our situation on the ranch, often got far more of each other than either cared for. It got ugly at times.
Now about this day and this ride home. I think this was after my accident, so I was without a car still, and had no option but to load up in the tiny Parker girl's CRX. Nice tight quarters when you can't stand the person next to you. And this was a 30 minute drive, and that day I'd been a particular pain in Nicole's side. No telling what exactly I'd done, but I'm sure her feelings were justified.
Well, resentful as she was, she dared not leave me behind and face the wrath of her mother. So, we loaded up and headed out. But to make it particularly clear how much Nicole despised me, she put in the cassette single of "Everything About You" by Ugly Kid Joe, played it loudly and played it over and over. But now, I was in a good mood and did I mention how much I love this song? Well, I love it so much I HAVE to sing along, and I did. And she played it louder. And I sang along LOUDER... the whole way home this process repeated. She sped handily, so we made it home fast, but I'm guessing we still had time to hear the song 7 or 8 times. Each time louder than beffore, and all with me singing horribly at the top of my lungs. Still can't believe we aren't both deaf.
God bless Nicole. Since those days we've found a peace and certain respect between us. I really like the person she's grown into, and I hope she likes the man I've become as well. I do consider her a friend now. But lord, how I survived those years and that day in particular without her actually, literally turning me into a bloody, beaten, tragic headline in the Daily Oklahoman...
Well, thank you, Nicole. I'm glad you didn't kill me as I may well have deserved.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Austin
Ugly Kid Joe - Everything About You
Here's Ugly Kid Joe's "Everything about you". To be clear, this is NOT how I feel about you, whoever you are. It is however a wonderful flashback for me. So everyone enjoy. Sing along. Headbang til your head throbs. Raise your glass and drink with me to the good old days. Happy Friday all.
Here's Ugly Kid Joe's "Everything about you". To be clear, this is NOT how I feel about you, whoever you are. It is however a wonderful flashback for me. So everyone enjoy. Sing along. Headbang til your head throbs. Raise your glass and drink with me to the good old days. Happy Friday all.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Update on everything I can think of...
Well, as usual, I've been horrible about posting. And I'll do what I can to get back in the groove. But for the moment, just a few notes on all that's been going on.
We've held new elections for the Brazos County Young Republicans. So, at last, I'm no longer an officer, however, I'm still on the board. Mel and I, especially Mel, are hoping this will mean less of my free time spent working for hte club. But I'm now the "old man" of the group and expect to still stay plenty busy and involved. So we'll see. We have great new leadership with lots off energy. Really, I hate that I need to step back but my young marriage needs and deserves more of my attention. I'm sure in a few years mel will grow tired of me being around so much and I'll be back in the swing full force.
ChiChi is doing great. We discovered that she has a low thyroid condition and with treatment her energy is up and she's no longer gnawing at her paw. We really like the new vet. Really, Chi's too cute. Always cuddling with me and doesn't beg as loudly for food now, unless we are eating steak. We did have a vomit incident last week involving hot sausage and Daddy being left alone to clean things up. That did not go too well. But in all, life goes on.
Work has been insane. We are smack in the middle of shooting mug shots for ID photos for all of Extension. And I mean ALL. Specialists, Agents, Support Staff and all. Something like 1,200 folks. Campus is this week and next, and then in September I have several long road trips heading out to our district meetings. But today is nice. Its hot, but I'm in the office...editting footage of horse evaluations... and yes, this does involve a vet, a thermometer, annd a horse's patootey. However you spell that... Yea me!
Well, that's most of it. Still haven't won the dang lottery. so I'd best get back to work.
Auz
We've held new elections for the Brazos County Young Republicans. So, at last, I'm no longer an officer, however, I'm still on the board. Mel and I, especially Mel, are hoping this will mean less of my free time spent working for hte club. But I'm now the "old man" of the group and expect to still stay plenty busy and involved. So we'll see. We have great new leadership with lots off energy. Really, I hate that I need to step back but my young marriage needs and deserves more of my attention. I'm sure in a few years mel will grow tired of me being around so much and I'll be back in the swing full force.
ChiChi is doing great. We discovered that she has a low thyroid condition and with treatment her energy is up and she's no longer gnawing at her paw. We really like the new vet. Really, Chi's too cute. Always cuddling with me and doesn't beg as loudly for food now, unless we are eating steak. We did have a vomit incident last week involving hot sausage and Daddy being left alone to clean things up. That did not go too well. But in all, life goes on.
Work has been insane. We are smack in the middle of shooting mug shots for ID photos for all of Extension. And I mean ALL. Specialists, Agents, Support Staff and all. Something like 1,200 folks. Campus is this week and next, and then in September I have several long road trips heading out to our district meetings. But today is nice. Its hot, but I'm in the office...editting footage of horse evaluations... and yes, this does involve a vet, a thermometer, annd a horse's patootey. However you spell that... Yea me!
Well, that's most of it. Still haven't won the dang lottery. so I'd best get back to work.
Auz
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Joke of the Year...
Sorry I'm still behind in posting. Things are just still so busy after the wedding.
I know this isn't so good as a real post. However, this is the funniest forward I've received in well over a year. Heck, maybe several years. Thanks to Cave for sending me this one.
Austin
-------
A cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new BMW appeared out of no where and drove up to him.
The driver, young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses, and a YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the Cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The Cowboy looked at the man, obviously a Yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answered "Sure, why not?"
The Yuppie parked his car, whipped out his DELL NOTEBOOK computer, connected it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, surfed to a NASA page on the Internet, where called up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on
his location which he then fed to another NASA Satellite that scanned the area in an ultra-high resolution photo. He then opened the digital photo in ADOBE PHOTO SHOP and exported it to an imaging processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he received an email on his PALM PILOT that the image had been processed and the data stored. He hen accessed a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected EXCEL spreadsheet with Email on his a BLACKBERRY and, after a few minutes, received a response. He then printed out a full-color, 150 page report on his high-tech miniaturized HP LASERJET printer and turned to the cowboy and said "You have 1,586 cows and calves."
The Cowboy responded that the figure was correct, so he could take one of the calves. The Cowboy watched as the yuppie selected one of the animals, acting amused as he loaded it into his trunk.
The Cowboy then said to the yuppie, " If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The Yuppie thought for a minute and replied "Okay, why not?"
"You are a United States Congressman", he retorted.
"Wow!!! That's correct, but, how did you guess that?"
"It's simple "replied the Cowboy, "No guessing involved."
"You showed up here even though nobody called you. You wanted to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question that I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a damn thing about cows......!
Now give me back my dog.
I know this isn't so good as a real post. However, this is the funniest forward I've received in well over a year. Heck, maybe several years. Thanks to Cave for sending me this one.
Austin
-------
A cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new BMW appeared out of no where and drove up to him.
The driver, young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses, and a YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the Cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The Cowboy looked at the man, obviously a Yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answered "Sure, why not?"
The Yuppie parked his car, whipped out his DELL NOTEBOOK computer, connected it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, surfed to a NASA page on the Internet, where called up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on
his location which he then fed to another NASA Satellite that scanned the area in an ultra-high resolution photo. He then opened the digital photo in ADOBE PHOTO SHOP and exported it to an imaging processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he received an email on his PALM PILOT that the image had been processed and the data stored. He hen accessed a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected EXCEL spreadsheet with Email on his a BLACKBERRY and, after a few minutes, received a response. He then printed out a full-color, 150 page report on his high-tech miniaturized HP LASERJET printer and turned to the cowboy and said "You have 1,586 cows and calves."
The Cowboy responded that the figure was correct, so he could take one of the calves. The Cowboy watched as the yuppie selected one of the animals, acting amused as he loaded it into his trunk.
The Cowboy then said to the yuppie, " If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The Yuppie thought for a minute and replied "Okay, why not?"
"You are a United States Congressman", he retorted.
"Wow!!! That's correct, but, how did you guess that?"
"It's simple "replied the Cowboy, "No guessing involved."
"You showed up here even though nobody called you. You wanted to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question that I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a damn thing about cows......!
Now give me back my dog.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Busy as a bee...
So I haven't posted much. I apologize for that. Certainly I've had plenty to talk about. Unfortunately, just not much time of late. Planning a wedding, three receptions, a honeymoon, locating a new residence, and prepping for a garage sale has been plenty to keep me off of here.
I have had a few good months though. Mel and I are more in love every day. We are quite sickening actually.
Early in March I also served as an election judge for the primaries. It was an absolutely wonderful experience. I highly suggest this for anyone looking to serve the public. I even had wonderful Democrat counterparts to work with. It reminds you just how civil our disagreements can be. And offers hope that things can work out and solutions can be found in a positive manner.
Beyond that, March has been somewhat disappointing in terms of basketball. But if nothing else this touri has been a wild ride and a great deal of fun to watch, even if my teams do keep losing. Still, how about them Aggies. Those boys and girls did a great deal to help this community learn what a wonderful sporting world exists outside of football.
Anyhow, got more errands to run and chores to do. Hope all is well with evveryone.
'
Auz
I have had a few good months though. Mel and I are more in love every day. We are quite sickening actually.
Early in March I also served as an election judge for the primaries. It was an absolutely wonderful experience. I highly suggest this for anyone looking to serve the public. I even had wonderful Democrat counterparts to work with. It reminds you just how civil our disagreements can be. And offers hope that things can work out and solutions can be found in a positive manner.
Beyond that, March has been somewhat disappointing in terms of basketball. But if nothing else this touri has been a wild ride and a great deal of fun to watch, even if my teams do keep losing. Still, how about them Aggies. Those boys and girls did a great deal to help this community learn what a wonderful sporting world exists outside of football.
Anyhow, got more errands to run and chores to do. Hope all is well with evveryone.
'
Auz
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Candidate Meet & Greet...
This coming Monday evening, Feb. 20th, the BCYR's are hosting a primary candidate "Meet & Greet" featuring all Republican Primary candidates in Brazos County. The free, informal event is at 6:30 in the Brazos Center.
It'll be a casual evening, with a trade show-feel. Just come wihen you can, walk around shake hands, ask questions and get a personal feel for the folks running for local office.
Invite every Republican you can.
Auz
It'll be a casual evening, with a trade show-feel. Just come wihen you can, walk around shake hands, ask questions and get a personal feel for the folks running for local office.
Invite every Republican you can.
Auz
Sunday, February 05, 2006
My New World...
Friends and loved ones,
Tonight I write to you with a heart overflowing. This weekend while celebrating her birthday in San Antonio, Melissa Alexander agreed to become my wife.
I apologize that some of you have not yet had an opportunity to meet Melissa. Lord knows my love life has had its ups and downs over the years, and I guess that has made me a bit quiet in sharing such details. However, those of you who have met her I'm certain know that she is by far the best thing to ever happen to me.
To briefly go through our story, Melissa and I met Memorial weekend before my senior year at Oklahoma State. However I was moving away and foolishly refused to allow our relationship to grow serious.
In the move to Texas, I misplaced her information but always wondered what became of that sweet girl from Tulsa. Then last year, one quiet afternoon at the office, I received a email with a name that seemed strangely familiar. Long story short, she moved to College Station on Memorial weekend of 2005.
It has been the happiest time of my life. She has a heart large enough to envelop all the disjointed sides of my personality, an intellect which forces mine down new and exciting paths daily, and the courage to stare down my obstinance. She loves MASH, Willie, and Oklahoma. And she's even got me to cut back heavily on my smoking. I'll wait for the applause to die down... I'm sure she'll have me stopped altogether in short order. I look forward to a day when you may meet her and see this amazing woman for every glorious trait that makes me love her as I do.
Though still early in the decision making process, we tentatively plan to marry (when else) but Memorial weekend 2006. Because all of our friends and family lives at such distances, and frankly we feel we are too old for a frantic, tense cycle of wedding planning, we'll have a small ceremony with a Justice of the Peace, followed by receptions in College Station, Cheyenne and Tulsa. Once details are established, I'll let you know.
Thank you for all your prayers and support. May god bless you all.
Austin
p.s. Pictures of us, the ring, and our adorable child ChiChi da Dog will follow once we located that darned USB cable for the camera.
Tonight I write to you with a heart overflowing. This weekend while celebrating her birthday in San Antonio, Melissa Alexander agreed to become my wife.
I apologize that some of you have not yet had an opportunity to meet Melissa. Lord knows my love life has had its ups and downs over the years, and I guess that has made me a bit quiet in sharing such details. However, those of you who have met her I'm certain know that she is by far the best thing to ever happen to me.
To briefly go through our story, Melissa and I met Memorial weekend before my senior year at Oklahoma State. However I was moving away and foolishly refused to allow our relationship to grow serious.
In the move to Texas, I misplaced her information but always wondered what became of that sweet girl from Tulsa. Then last year, one quiet afternoon at the office, I received a email with a name that seemed strangely familiar. Long story short, she moved to College Station on Memorial weekend of 2005.
It has been the happiest time of my life. She has a heart large enough to envelop all the disjointed sides of my personality, an intellect which forces mine down new and exciting paths daily, and the courage to stare down my obstinance. She loves MASH, Willie, and Oklahoma. And she's even got me to cut back heavily on my smoking. I'll wait for the applause to die down... I'm sure she'll have me stopped altogether in short order. I look forward to a day when you may meet her and see this amazing woman for every glorious trait that makes me love her as I do.
Though still early in the decision making process, we tentatively plan to marry (when else) but Memorial weekend 2006. Because all of our friends and family lives at such distances, and frankly we feel we are too old for a frantic, tense cycle of wedding planning, we'll have a small ceremony with a Justice of the Peace, followed by receptions in College Station, Cheyenne and Tulsa. Once details are established, I'll let you know.
Thank you for all your prayers and support. May god bless you all.
Austin
p.s. Pictures of us, the ring, and our adorable child ChiChi da Dog will follow once we located that darned USB cable for the camera.
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