Gotta love Karma...

Oklahoma must forfeit 2005 football season

By Associated Press July 11, 2007 OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) – The Oklahoma football program must forfeit its wins from the 2005 season and will lose two scholarships for the 2008-09 and 2009-10 school years. The penalties, announced Wednesday by the NCAA, stem from a case involving two players, including the Sooners' starting quarterback, who were kicked off the team for being paid for work they had not performed at a Norman car dealership. The NCAA said Wednesday morning it planned to announce its decision about possible sanctions against the Oklahoma football program, more fallout from a case that came to light last year when two players – including the Sooners' starting quarterback – were kicked off the team. In an e-mail sent to media outlets, the NCAA said a 2 p.m. conference call with Miami athletics director Paul Dee, the acting chairman of the NCAA Committee on Infractions, was scheduled to discuss the case. On Aug. 3 – the day before the Sooners began preseason practice – Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops dismissed quarterback Rhett Bomar and offensive lineman J.D. Quinn from the team amid allegations that the players had been paid for work they had not performed at a Norman car dealership. The NCAA subsequently alleged that Oklahoma had failed to adequately monitor the employment of several athletes, including some football players who worked during the academic year. The NCAA said Oklahoma's "failure to monitor" led to the university not detecting NCAA rules violations.

World History as it Really Happened

I wish I could take credit for writing this. But no, just another wonderful, anonymous forwarded message. Enjoy -Auz

World History as it Really Happened

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomad/hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while
they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as "girliemen."

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, home interior designers, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter
rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to actually work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a
business of trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers. And to more liberals just to tick them off.

YEAR ONE

My wife married me a year ago today. Foolish girl. Lucky boy.

Simply brilliant...

What We Call the News | Send To Friends | Funny Animations at JibJab

This Cheese Don't Stink!

Many thanks to Bud Force for taking the time today to introduce my ears to an unexpected and joyfully decadent auditory experience. I'd explain it here, but better still if you
hear this for yourself.

I invite you all to visit:

http://www.richardcheese.com/

Your best bet is to select "Music Bar" and enjoy.

Auz

Boortz Alert!!!

Just a reminder: Neal Boortz will be at the College Station Hastings today at 6 pm to sign copies of his new book, "Somebody's Gotta Say It."

FairTax Update: Prebate News

Good news on the Prebate aspect of the FairTax.

While I do not have the specific details, today on Neal Boortz's show the head of Americans for Fair Taxation spoke of a new wrinkle in the debate.

One of the most common criticisms of the HR 25 is to claim that it will be too expensive to implement, specifically the prebate system. And granted, mailing a check to every American household monthly would be expensive. These arguments ignore the overwhelming numbers of benefit checks regularly mailed by our government currently. They similarly ignore the prevalence of direct deposit and other electronic payment distribution technologies so common in today's society which could cut these costs dramatically.

However, today we learned that a number of financial institutions are actually offering to PAY the Federal government for the ability to distribute this prebate to their customers.

So let's assume that John John's Bank is one of these institutions. And that you have a John John's credit card. So John John's Bank, with your permission, would simply credit your account for the amount of the prebate at the beginning of each month and PAY the Federal government for this privilege. I am still researching this new development, but I believe the same would apply to John John's Bank's checking accounts as well.

Either way, they will pay the government to let them give you the prebate money on the assumption that you'll use their institution to spend the money, which you probably would be doing anyhow. After all, if you have a John John's credit or banking account, you'll be giving them money anyhow. That's where you'd cash the check or sned a payment too anyhow. So everybody wins.

And now, we are not talking about the cost of the government to distribute prebates, but instead about the additional funds the government will GENERATE by distributing the prebate.

I'll keep you posted.

---
As a refresher, the Fairtax is a plan (and bill HR 25) to replace ALL Federal taxes (including income, embedded business, and payroll) with a single 23% sales tax on all NEW goods and services. As a part of this plan, a "prebate" would be enacted. This prebate is intended to ensure that no American pays any taxes on the money they spend up to the poverty line.

In other words, if the poverty line (for example) is $12,000 per year, or $1000 per month for a single individual, then that individual will be given the amount of money they'd be asked to pay in Fairtax on that dollar amount, $230 per month. The payment comes at the first of the month so the money is in place to pay the taxes from the beginning. The amount is based on existing, often updated figures from the Department of Health and Human Services. And this prebate goes to every American household, regardless of income. No American would then pay taxes on the most basic necessities of life.

For more information, explained better than I have here visit fairtax.org

How Okie are you?

Check out this quiz from Oklahoma Today. I hit a 174. WAY too low for me.

"How Okie are you?" Quiz

I'm a baby on Uranus...

Turns out I'd be 16 again, if only I lived on Mars. But I'd be a centurian on Mercury.

Thanks to Bob Webster and his Junkmail for this link:

Your Age on Other Worlds

I haven't checked their math, but I don't want to.
So take it as a leap of fate, enter your digits and find out just how young you are in other parts of this solar system.

My gift to you all.
Merry Christmas.

Austin

Tequila Christmas Cake Recipe

My new, favorite holiday recipe, and easy even for an amateur baker. Enjoy. Merry Christmas all!

Austin

Tequila Christmas Cake

Ingredients:

> 1 cup of water
> 1 tsp baking soda
> 1 cup of sugar
> 1 tsp salt
> 1 cup of brown sugar
> Lemon juice
> 4 large eggs
> Nuts
> 1 bottle tequila
> 2 cups of dried fruit
>
> Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup... just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
>
> Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
>
> Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.
>
> CHERRY MISTMAS!

The most accurate clock on Earth.

http://mackgreen.com/signature.php/temp.gif

Waco Family of Privilege, Chet Edwards Family Ties

Interesting. While I certainly don't always trust 20/20 to get things right, and this one raises a number of questions it doesn't answer, it also raises a number of questions about our incumbent Congressman. Certainly worth watching.

My Hero...

Tom Mabe Pranks Telemarketer

Liberal Confusion

I know the Patriot Act is not exactly big in the news these days. But for some reason it was on my mind yesterday afternoon. And once again, it has left me confused by our Liberal brethren.

Basic liberal ideology insists that more government is better. That individual Americans are best served by having more and more of their lives managed by public servants such as myself. Medical Care. Personal Savings. Entitlement programs of every shape, size and color. The ideology is grounded in the belief that government should be an active force within the lives of individuals.

But when it comes to national security and the War on Terror, specifically to the Patriot Act, the liberal arguments insist that the powers granted in that document can and will be abused...by public servants. Cops. DA's. Fed's and so on. Liberals and Democrats suggest that the government should not have that power.

Yet they want the government (these same public servants) in charge of my retirement, my medical records, my charitable giving...

I know a number of you friends are such liberals. So please understand, I'm not looking to start a fight here. I just don't understand the conflict. I don't get how you resolve that within yourself. Is it that you trust all public servants, but hate cops? Is it that you simply have such hatred for Republicans that you'll immediately oppose anything Republicans stand for? What is it? What drives you to such conflicting beliefs? I'd love to hear from you on this.

Signs it will be a LONG day. #1

You get up for a nice, hard night's sleep. Let the dog out. Dog won't go. Start the coffee. Eat your Cheerios. Take the dog out again. Dog still won't go. Ask your wife to take the dog out while you shower. Dog goes for wife. Get dressed. Fill the thermos. Kiss the wife. Drive to work. Get to the office. Office is cold. Chair is cold. Fire up computer. Throw on coat you keep at the office. As you launch your e-mail, lean back and open thermos to pour a nice, hot cup of... hot water?

You forgot to put coffee in the coffee maker.

It's going to be a LONG day.

I'm tired.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Sunrise, Gameday, Traffic, Moving, and Dogster...

I'm in the mood to ramble. Consider yourself warn-ed.

So I was going to post yesterday morning. It was a great morning. I woke up in a good mood, feeling great. The doctor has me doing a new series of exercises for my back (apparently my overly tight hamstrings have something to do with my back pain) and it really seems to be helping. Add to that a cool morning, good coffee, my lovely wife, and a gorgeous morning sky as I drove to work and I was brimming with joy I couldn't wait to share here in the Bell Tower.

Of course, I couldn't remember my password and didn't seem to be receiving the emails that would allow me to reset that password and you got nothing. BUT I'm back, BABY!!! Now that I've discovered what email address I actually created this account with...

Oops.

Moving right along...

Not all of yesterday was pleasant. Many of you will remember how this past January/February involved moving my office off campus. All in all, this was a great thing. Our old building on campus is old, poorly designed, and really just needs a wrecking ball renovation. The new office is great. Clean, free parking, easy access, sturdy... oh, and is not owned but rather leased by the university.

So, yep, you guessed it, we are moving again, this time to a building owned fully by the school. Still off campus, but we get to pay for parking again all the same. Woo-ha.

So Friday a group of us went to assess our new digs and begin planning for the move. But the building was certainly not designed for a bunch of media folks like us. In a former life it housed a bank, since then its been slightly renovated to best accommodate folks who answer email and push paper... and nothing else (read: cubicle hell). On whole, this isn't something we are unable to work with... except the University doesn't want us getting rid of any of there furniture, and in fact we are supposed to PAY to move anything of theirs we don't want out. Can you believe that? WE pay THEM to remove THEIR stuff or just accept all that doesn't work for us and surplus all of the furniture and equipment that does already work for us... Let's just say that negotiations have begun, and the opening offer was NOT impressive...

Did I mention they want us to pay for off-campus parking?

So today was game day. Aggies v. Tech. And the YR's along with the CR's tailgated for Van Taylor and our local candidates. I wasn't sure what to think. I'd never been anywhere near Kyle Field on game day. Add to that how my wife's ankle was sprained a few days ago in disastrous dog-walking incident...

But the day was great. We parked 362 miles from the field and hobbled our way there. Got things set up, waited for the food to arrive, then we all waited another hour for plastic forks and cups to arrive. But it was a great time. The CR's are a fun bunch and the food (C&J's) was worth waiting for. We were expecting the Gov to arrive about 1:30, but I can't say if he did.

Poor Mel, hobbled there with me, but her real pain was in the arriving. That's when I stuck her in a chair with some ice for her ankle and pretty much made her stay there. So, by 12:30, I'd fed her lunch, and force some cake (Tori's and it was yummy) down her throat. I figured it was time to get her home and take proper care of her. Besides, I've met the Gov before. Nice guy. Fairly standard political-type. He has my vote... though I would have liked to ask him about his conditioning regimen. We don't call him Governor Good Hair for nothing.

So all was good until we got the bright idea to go to Target. The game was still on, after all, so the roads would be ideal.... Dumbass. It was the start of the fourth quarter when we left. I was in the back of the store, surveying the newest good t-shirts ("Jack Bauer for President" is my favorite) when I overheard a store employee's walkie-talkie. It was the manager stating in a frightened voice, "Its over. We lost. They are coming." So I grabbed Mel as fast as I could, but I knew it was too late. Long story short, what should have been a 10-minute drive instead took well over 45 minutes. We did see our share of hilarity. Road rage. Brave Tortilla Tech fans dancing and flashing the Raider guns as they drove through miles and miles of angry Aggies, and one young woman who I swear to you had her cell phone surgically grafted to her face. That young woman elicited a few choice words from me of the sort that I don't use EVER.

Okay, safe and sound and that is all. Really, nothing exciting at all to share here. Just felt like rambling for a while. I appreciate you taking the time to listen, or at least skim. Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.

Oh, one last note. Something I can't really explain. You'll just have to go and look for yourself:

www.dogster.com

The Internet scares me.

Long weeks row to hoe down at the club over the head....

Yes, that's how long this week has been. All of my metaphors are running together like a man rollerskating on one leg through a buffalo herd of cats... See what I mean.

Spent the week traveling through North Texas taking agency ID photos as this is 2006 and it seems everyone needs a agency ID...nevermind that most of us already have three... Still. It was nice work and I was able to see lots of old friends and make many new ones. Overton, Dallas, Vernon, and Stephenville. In 4 days. All the staffs were great and wonderfully helpful, but Janet in Vernon gets a gold star for being the best of the best. And that has nothing to do with the fact that she lives on a golf course and invited me to play there next time I'm out. :D

But I'm home now and looking forward to a weekend of nothing but football, napping, and maybe I'll even get lucky if a treat my wife nice. Cross your fingers for me kids.

Oh, and yes, when I'm this exhausted, my "TMI Filter" is worthless.

We are going to have some fun this weekend. For her birthday last year, I got Mel a Easy Bake Oven. She'd never been so fortunate as a child to have one. Well, neither has our other friend Mel ever had one. So this weekend the girls are going to have an Easy Bake party. Fun for them. Football without guilt for me. LOVE IT!!!

Be sure to check out the previous post. I remember once back in high school when Nicole Parker had to give me a ride home to the ranch. My father was Farm Manager on the Turley ranch. David Parker was General Manager at that time. Which made his three daughters (Erin, Nicole, and Shannon) like family to me. Now Erin, who is a year older, and I got along well enough but weren't exactly close. Shannon (a few years younger) and I have been pretty tight over the years. But Nicole... Nicole and I are the same age, graduated in the same class. And because of our situation on the ranch, often got far more of each other than either cared for. It got ugly at times.

Now about this day and this ride home. I think this was after my accident, so I was without a car still, and had no option but to load up in the tiny Parker girl's CRX. Nice tight quarters when you can't stand the person next to you. And this was a 30 minute drive, and that day I'd been a particular pain in Nicole's side. No telling what exactly I'd done, but I'm sure her feelings were justified.

Well, resentful as she was, she dared not leave me behind and face the wrath of her mother. So, we loaded up and headed out. But to make it particularly clear how much Nicole despised me, she put in the cassette single of "Everything About You" by Ugly Kid Joe, played it loudly and played it over and over. But now, I was in a good mood and did I mention how much I love this song? Well, I love it so much I HAVE to sing along, and I did. And she played it louder. And I sang along LOUDER... the whole way home this process repeated. She sped handily, so we made it home fast, but I'm guessing we still had time to hear the song 7 or 8 times. Each time louder than beffore, and all with me singing horribly at the top of my lungs. Still can't believe we aren't both deaf.

God bless Nicole. Since those days we've found a peace and certain respect between us. I really like the person she's grown into, and I hope she likes the man I've become as well. I do consider her a friend now. But lord, how I survived those years and that day in particular without her actually, literally turning me into a bloody, beaten, tragic headline in the Daily Oklahoman...

Well, thank you, Nicole. I'm glad you didn't kill me as I may well have deserved.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Austin

Ugly Kid Joe - Everything About You

Here's Ugly Kid Joe's "Everything about you". To be clear, this is NOT how I feel about you, whoever you are. It is however a wonderful flashback for me. So everyone enjoy. Sing along. Headbang til your head throbs. Raise your glass and drink with me to the good old days. Happy Friday all.

Update on everything I can think of...

Well, as usual, I've been horrible about posting. And I'll do what I can to get back in the groove. But for the moment, just a few notes on all that's been going on.

We've held new elections for the Brazos County Young Republicans. So, at last, I'm no longer an officer, however, I'm still on the board. Mel and I, especially Mel, are hoping this will mean less of my free time spent working for hte club. But I'm now the "old man" of the group and expect to still stay plenty busy and involved. So we'll see. We have great new leadership with lots off energy. Really, I hate that I need to step back but my young marriage needs and deserves more of my attention. I'm sure in a few years mel will grow tired of me being around so much and I'll be back in the swing full force.

ChiChi is doing great. We discovered that she has a low thyroid condition and with treatment her energy is up and she's no longer gnawing at her paw. We really like the new vet. Really, Chi's too cute. Always cuddling with me and doesn't beg as loudly for food now, unless we are eating steak. We did have a vomit incident last week involving hot sausage and Daddy being left alone to clean things up. That did not go too well. But in all, life goes on.

Work has been insane. We are smack in the middle of shooting mug shots for ID photos for all of Extension. And I mean ALL. Specialists, Agents, Support Staff and all. Something like 1,200 folks. Campus is this week and next, and then in September I have several long road trips heading out to our district meetings. But today is nice. Its hot, but I'm in the office...editting footage of horse evaluations... and yes, this does involve a vet, a thermometer, annd a horse's patootey. However you spell that... Yea me!

Well, that's most of it. Still haven't won the dang lottery. so I'd best get back to work.

Auz